i have recently come to know a group of men who it is a pleasure to be around. We have a common reason of association that comes via music. All the men have considerable life experience and are evolved...When we are together..we appreciate each other's company..We create Art...we are not competing with each other..I think this is why we are getting along so well...Comments?
-
Re: Men relating to each other as fellow humans
Sun, March 5, 2006 - 3:26 PMi have a 'traditional' mens group here in dallas, loosely based upon the men's movement of the 90's. its certainly one of the richest things in my life....
-
-
Re: Men relating to each other as fellow humans
Mon, March 6, 2006 - 3:25 PMWas Dallas late in adopting/receiving the men's movement? I was wondering if it took a while to shift from California to Texas, were there cultural walls that had to be scaled for the tennants of the men's movement to be allowed in ....just curious...glad to here you have this resouce available... -
-
Re: Men relating to each other as fellow humans
Mon, March 6, 2006 - 4:15 PMi don't know if it was late or not......i found it, perhaps in '89 or 90.....i jad joined an existing group that met weekly to drum and share, the group averaging about 40-50 in attendance.....so there was actually thousands that passed through our doors, as most chose not to stay...
unfortunately, the group disbanded after about another 2 years passed, and most everyone went their own ways....
of course there was also a very large group in Austin, and they continued a few years longer...
then about a year ago, i decided to form a new group and we average about four men per gathering.....
-
-
-
Re: Men relating to each other as fellow humans
Mon, March 6, 2006 - 5:06 PMA shared interest or life experience can be a very powerful reason to come together.
The Men's group I am in is made up mostly from men in recovery from addiction. In fact, we all went to the same 12 step program. We all saw this group as being a way to move beyond what the 12 step program had already given us. There are just somethings that can't be handled in a 12 step meeting.
From time to time, a few men, who did not share this common experience, have been part of this group, and, in the long run, they really didn't fit in with the other men.
I think this stemmed from the vocabulary and process of the 12 step program. We were already used to dealing with issues honestly, and all had gained much insight to the root of our behaviour. The guys who did not have this vocabulary or insight, seemed not to be able to grasp it, or move along at the same speed the rest of us did.
It has also been true that just being in this 12 step program was not enough to ensure a good fit in this group. Some are sicker than others. Some are more honest than others. Some are more commited to doing this type of work than others are.
This group has been as large as 8 men, and as small as 5. Today, it sits at 6. The retreats have been attended by as many as 65 men, down to about 20.
So, George, besides music, what other things do your men's group tackle? -
-
Re: Men relating to each other as fellow humans
Wed, March 8, 2006 - 9:04 PMWe have only known each other for about 1month..so we need to spend more time together...but I am optimistic for how our relations will go..I'll continue to report as things progress....On another note...I was part of one of the leading Men's programs in the United States dealing with Male Violence...the program was associated with a Women's shelter and had a fully developed set of step programs for men who were violent..I entered the program as a self referral...after a close incident with my first wife...We had a borderline incident..that made me realize I needed to look at violence as an issue in my life...As it so happened this group was in the early stages of development and I was accepted...I staffed a 24 hour hotline for men to call into for 3 years...I then moved on and lent other business skills I had to the program...My involvement lasted for 7 years... -
-
Re: Men relating to each other as fellow humans
Wed, March 8, 2006 - 10:46 PMBravo George!
For recognizing you had an issue, and for you taking action to deal with it before you hit bottom (pun intended I guess).
I think that action is the core of the Men's movement. It is work. On ourselves, and our fellows in our group, and hopefully, other men by our example. It's not just talk, it is about change/transformation.
If you want any info on how the group I am in does things, or want a suggestion or 2 about some good books about men's groups, just ask.
-
-
-
Re: Men relating to each other as fellow humans
Mon, March 6, 2006 - 8:09 PMI completely agree. As a singer and music teacher I've seen it happen over and over. There is something about sharing in the creation of a thing of beauty, something you MUST depend of the help of others to achieve, that allows men to open up and communicate with other like-minded men instead of just competing, hiding emotion, and talking only about sports and cars.
Some of my best, most treasured male-group bonding experiences were back in college as a member of a men's choir. The shared sweat of arduous rehearsals and the shared pride in the execution of incredible concerts brought us together in ways of which I had never dreamed. It has been said that males are at their best and most glorious when committed to the something that provides a greater-good to others...producing art/music together certainly qualifies.
Regards,
Tim
